Neither Here Nor There


darker sunset shadows

Folk legends talk about crossroads as a place where two worlds touch. Whilst this may sound romantic, living in limbo can leave us feeling isolated, neither free like the sky or the ocean, but stuck, a horizon line. A crossroad presents a decision. Weighing up all the information; one path over another. Having this much control over your future, something we usually yearn for, can also be daunting. We can end up tortured by choice, worried we may choose the road less desired. It is easy to understand why we feel the need to hesitate, to think things through, to pause. There’s a certain paralysing comfort in being neither here nor there, not having to commit to anything, and sometimes the freedom of our choice can cause us to stay put for longer than necessary.

Folklore offers warnings about lingering at the crossroads; they were seen as places where demons and spirits visited, and therefore should be passed through quickly. It’s easy to get trapped in these liminal spaces, not making any wrong turns but inhibiting progress at the same time. After all, the sun rises but also sets at the horizon line. If we let our fear of the unknown prevent us from making a choice, if we let our own demons encage us at the crossroads, then we may be too late and miss out on opportunities and roads once open to us.

As I wait to leave for Sweden, I can’t help but ask that question, am I making the right choice? Will I regret it? A friend of mine once told me that  you should not regret any decision if you made it to the best of your ability given the information you had at the time. You can not perfectly predict what will come from that choice, and how much more exciting it is that way! Killing time in Perth left me feeling like a black and white hologram of a person walking around in a technicolour world. I saw my friends move on to new things, strive forward with their lives and I was lagging. I didn’t belong. Now the time has finally come to leave the crossroads and my fear behind. I don’t know what is to come or what I’ll be missing out on by not going down the alternate path, but it sure is better than loitering around, waiting for the “right” decision to be made clear, moving nowhere (literally!). Sometimes you’ve just got to plunge into the unknown and commit to the choice you make, even if there’s the possible threat of moose, extremely dark Winters and ridiculously good looking, self-esteem lowering people!

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5 thoughts on “Neither Here Nor There

  1. May that light in the lantern always shine brightly. If it dims and the shadows fall do not be too dismayed as there is always light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to deal with the problem so as the flame will flicker higher. You will always have a loving family who loves you no matter what. Go forward and reap the rewards.
    Love you. Nana

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    1. May the roads rise to meet you
      May the winds always be at your back
      May the sun shine warm upon your face
      The rains falls soft upon your fields
      Until we meet again, may God hold you in the Palm of his hand

      Good luck Emma, have the time of your life, enjoy the challenges and may the trip reward you.
      Enjoy
      Ollie xx

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      1. Thanks for the well wishes Ollie, I love that Irish blessing. Hopefully it turns out as well for me as your overseas move to Australia worked out for you, but as you would know home and family never really leave you, so nice to know I have support in Perth as I venture off! xo

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  2. Em how wonderfully written it bought a few tears to my eyes! So did your Nanas words! You know you will always have a wonderful loving family waiting for you no matter what way your path turns. So all you can do is go off an have the most amazing time and just see where it leads. You have nothin to loose and everything to gain . Time doesn’t matter wether you go for 6 months , a year or more it is the journey , the people you will meet & memories and fantastic time you will have! Home is always here! Xxx

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    1. Thanks so much Elana. As the nerves kick in that’s exactly the attitude I need to have. It makes it a lot easier to go off and have all these new and exciting experiences knowing that I have such an incredible support system back home. Will never under appreciate it, and how wonderful that your boys will grow up with the same! Can’t beat Perth for that 🙂 xox

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