Folk legends talk about crossroads as a place where two worlds touch. Whilst this may sound romantic, living in limbo can leave us feeling isolated, neither free like the sky or the ocean, but stuck, a horizon line. A crossroad presents a decision. Weighing up all the information; one path over another. Having this much control over your future, something we usually yearn for, can also be daunting. We can end up tortured by choice, worried we may choose the road less desired. It is easy to understand why we feel the need to hesitate, to think things through, to pause. There’s a certain paralysing comfort in being neither here nor there, not having to commit to anything, and sometimes the freedom of our choice can cause us to stay put for longer than necessary.
Folklore offers warnings about lingering at the crossroads; they were seen as places where demons and spirits visited, and therefore should be passed through quickly. It’s easy to get trapped in these liminal spaces, not making any wrong turns but inhibiting progress at the same time. After all, the sun rises but also sets at the horizon line. If we let our fear of the unknown prevent us from making a choice, if we let our own demons encage us at the crossroads, then we may be too late and miss out on opportunities and roads once open to us.
As I wait to leave for Sweden, I can’t help but ask that question, am I making the right choice? Will I regret it? A friend of mine once told me that you should not regret any decision if you made it to the best of your ability given the information you had at the time. You can not perfectly predict what will come from that choice, and how much more exciting it is that way! Killing time in Perth left me feeling like a black and white hologram of a person walking around in a technicolour world. I saw my friends move on to new things, strive forward with their lives and I was lagging. I didn’t belong. Now the time has finally come to leave the crossroads and my fear behind. I don’t know what is to come or what I’ll be missing out on by not going down the alternate path, but it sure is better than loitering around, waiting for the “right” decision to be made clear, moving nowhere (literally!). Sometimes you’ve just got to plunge into the unknown and commit to the choice you make, even if there’s the possible threat of moose, extremely dark Winters and ridiculously good looking, self-esteem lowering people!